Here are some other gems from the article:
– When the modern man buys shoes for his spouse, he doesn’t have to ask her sister for the size. And he knows which brands run big or small.
– The modern man is considerate. At the movie theater, he won’t munch down a mouthful of popcorn during a quiet moment. He waits for some ruckus.
– Before the modern man heads off to bed, he makes sure his spouse’s phone and his kids’ electronic devices are charging for the night.
– The modern man buys only regular colas, like Coke or Dr Pepper. If you walk into his house looking for a Mountain Dew, he’ll show you the door.
– The modern man uses the proper names for things. For example, he’ll say “helicopter,” not “chopper” like some gauche simpleton.
– Having a daughter makes the modern man more of a complete person. He learns new stuff every day.
– The modern man makes sure the dishes on the rack have dried completely before putting them away.
– The modern man checks the status of his Irish Spring bar before jumping in for a wash. Too small, it gets swapped out.
– The modern man listens to Wu-Tang at least once a week.
– The modern man has hardwood flooring. His children can detect his mood from the stamp of his Kenneth Cole oxfords.
– Does the modern man have a melon baller? What do you think? How else would the cantaloupe, watermelon and honeydew he serves be so uniformly shaped?
– The modern man has thought seriously about buying a shoehorn.
– The modern man buys fresh flowers more to surprise his wife than to say he is sorry.
– On occasion, the modern man is the little spoon. Some nights, when he is feeling down or vulnerable, he needs an emotional and physical shield.
– The modern man has no use for a gun. He doesn’t own one, and he never will.
– The modern man cries. He cries often.
– People aren’t sure if the modern man is a good dancer or not. That is, until the D.J. plays his jam and he goes out there and puts on a clinic.