Dinosaur Media’s Guide on how to be a Modern “Man”

image The Old Media proves yet again why they continue to lose the respect of viewers and readers all around the world. They try so hard, yet fail miserably, at trying to convince the rest of us just how truly "manly" and "Alpha" the modern day Cuck really is. The New York Times has published a how to guide titled "27 Ways to be a Modern Man." If you're in a desperate need for comedy, I suggest you read this shit.... Here's one of my personal favorites: #6 - Before the modern man heads off to bed, he makes sure his spouse’s phone and his kids’ electronic devices are charging for the night. WTF?!!?!?? Lol.

Here are some other gems from the article:

– When the modern man buys shoes for his spouse, he doesn’t have to ask her sister for the size. And he knows which brands run big or small.

– The modern man is considerate. At the movie theater, he won’t munch down a mouthful of popcorn during a quiet moment. He waits for some ruckus.

– Before the modern man heads off to bed, he makes sure his spouse’s phone and his kids’ electronic devices are charging for the night.

– The modern man buys only regular colas, like Coke or Dr Pepper. If you walk into his house looking for a Mountain Dew, he’ll show you the door.

– The modern man uses the proper names for things. For example, he’ll say “helicopter,” not “chopper” like some gauche simpleton.

– Having a daughter makes the modern man more of a complete person. He learns new stuff every day.

– The modern man makes sure the dishes on the rack have dried completely before putting them away.

– The modern man checks the status of his Irish Spring bar before jumping in for a wash. Too small, it gets swapped out.

– The modern man listens to Wu-Tang at least once a week.

– The modern man has hardwood flooring. His children can detect his mood from the stamp of his Kenneth Cole oxfords.

– Does the modern man have a melon baller? What do you think? How else would the cantaloupe, watermelon and honeydew he serves be so uniformly shaped?

– The modern man has thought seriously about buying a shoehorn.

– The modern man buys fresh flowers more to surprise his wife than to say he is sorry.

– On occasion, the modern man is the little spoon. Some nights, when he is feeling down or vulnerable, he needs an emotional and physical shield.

– The modern man has no use for a gun. He doesn’t own one, and he never will.

– The modern man cries. He cries often.

– People aren’t sure if the modern man is a good dancer or not. That is, until the D.J. plays his jam and he goes out there and puts on a clinic.

12 Comments on Dinosaur Media’s Guide on how to be a Modern “Man”

  1. – The modern man has no use for a gun. He doesn’t own one, and he never will.

    – The modern man cries. He cries often.

    These two are my favorites. We really have sunk down deep, haven’t we? WTF, how much it has to get worst before it gets better?

    Fuck it, I am going to fridge to pop my Mountain Dew….lol

    Like

  2. The Right Stuff wrote witty responses to all 27 guides, worth a look.

    http://therightstuff.biz/2015/10/02/27-ways-to-be-a-gigantic-faggot/

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I’ll bet, if THAT ‘modern man’ is in the woods and needs to water the horse. Instead of sending everyone on else on ahead then trying a two handed shot to hit the furthest tree. Heshe raises it’s hand and shyly muffles “I must tinkle, don’t leave me”, giggles, pulls out a hanky, then heads off for a bush to quietly squat behind.

    Like

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